Rise of the Russian Bots

Russian bots are so devious!!! Not only did they hack the Clinton campaign emails, and – by means of their cutout, “Wikileaks” – expose us to ugly, deceptive, truth. Now they’re making memes that expose our impolitic hidden desires!

This, after all, is the heart of the #Russiagate narrative that has been established in fact. The Russians have been manipulating us with truth. And truth, as every good radical has at one time heard, is the greatest enemy of the State.

Whether it’s the truth of how divorced the Democratic Party is from actual democracy, the truth of our own dark intuitions of the corruption that lies behind all of the pious bullshit we’re religiously fed, or the truth about our own authoritarian tendencies. Whatever it is, the Russians are creating memes to exploit this forbidden knowledge.

This is the knowledge the sheepdogs work tirelessly to drive off, keeping the predators – wolves or bears – at bay, and the herd all together.

(The sudden rise in popularity of mini-Aussies is no coincidence! These are the dogs we see ourselves in. They are mini-me’s… though, I like my sheepdogs a little wild.)

The Russians may have lost the Cold War arms and economic race, but they are still waging the propaganda battle, with the same bloody and perfectly amoral determination. The basic idea here is that they’re more Fundamentally Evil than us, and this Fundamental Evil gives them special Mind Control Powers, such that a few thousand dollars of Facebook ads might take down a Billion and a Half Dollar Campaign. Thanks to social media, and the diabolical genius that animates the Kremlin, a low-grade troll farm is able to overmatch the richest and most sophisticated campaign in American history.


If you’re not up at night worried sick over this, you either haven’t been paying attention, or are an unwitting dupe of Putin. He has, after all, been secretly funding the rise of White Supremacists – and how certain are you that you’re not one of those?

Indeed, if you were to pick up a copy of The Portland Mercury, and actually take it’s list of demands seriously, doubts would be sure to set in. Because even if you didn’t write a letter of objection to the editor; even if you didn’t tell a soul; somewhere inside yourself you’d know that you found the whole thing essentially idiotic in the way a sense of aggrieved entitlement completely jumbles up serious critique and narcissistic petulance. And once you’ve gone that far, you’re in the Basket of Deplorables, mixing indiscriminately with Hitler and David Duke and Richard Spencer. Because if you’re not with them, you’re against them. And trust me, you don’t want to be against them.

So you’d better believe in the whole #Russiagate thing, because if you don’t, sooner or later everyone’s going to know that you’re a sexist and a racist, and probably a transphobe to boot.

Yes, #Russiagate is a creed that must be sworn to daily. Repeat after me: So long as there is a President Trump, the investigation must continue! And you’d better be yelling, too. Mumblers will be noted. To stop the investigation at any point, or even to question it, would be to acknowledge not only Trump’s legitimacy as President, but the legitimacy of the bigotry that animates, not just his bloated orange facade, but the white supremacist super-organism that elected him (with the help of Putin, of course). Investigation of Trump’s “collusion with Russia” is how we practice our faith in political terms. It is a testament to our rejection of him, not just as President, but as a way of being…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *